The bristles on my toothbrush had turned a terrible yellow and my teeth were starting to look the same. So I went to the store to get a new toothbrush. I saw a wide range of brushes, at least thirty, all different in shape, color and size. Each of them claimed they could remove plaque from my teeth more effectively than the others, and I couldn't choose. It was a pretty big decision. To my left was a gray-haired man wearing a worn brown cardigan. The old man looked at me and declared, "All these toothbrushes are fake." As he spoke I was amazed by his white, beautiful and healthy teeth. "Oh yeah? And what do you use to brush your teeth?" I wanted my teeth to look as white as his. "I don't use toothbrushes. Dumbest invention ever. Do you want to know how I brush my teeth? I use my tongue - after every meal and before bed." I almost laughed, but it occurred to me that he might be crazy and it would be rude to laugh if he were. "Nothing not even toothpaste." "Wow." I said as if I believed him. Because how the hell can you brush your teeth with your tongue? Then he continued, "Why else do you think your tongue can reach into every crevice of your mouth? Because that's what the tongue is for! Brushing your teeth! It has a rough texture, which cleans your teeth better than any bristle could ever do." !" As he continued, the old man suddenly seemed to make a lot of sense. I had never thought of this obvious solution for cleaning teeth. I was baffled. I gave up on buying a toothbrush, followed him out of the store and invited him to lunch. As we chatted I discovered how intelligent he was. "Note that mammals with teeth have very flexible tongues, for the purpose of cleaning and holding the teeth. A bird... in the center of the card... said the man at the table. I felt like a complete idiot. I felt like if I got punched in the face. Years later, I found myself needing dentures, because all of my yellowed teeth had fallen out. While cleaning out the attic I found a set of them and had trouble remembering where they came from. Afterwards having collected dust for so many years they were still very white. I thought that because my memory was so terrible, perhaps I had bought them weeks ago and forgotten about them. They fit well, so I was convinced that it must be so My teeth had never looked so beautiful and healthy. Later that day, I went to the nearby store to have my prescription filled and show off my new teeth. To my right was a frustrated young man trying to choose a toothbrush from a selection of too many shapes, imaginative bristles and false promises. “All those toothbrushes are fake,” I said..