My head is spinning. My stomach is twisted with a mix of emotions: anxiety, excitement, worry, hope, dread, longing, and love. Love I didn't know I could feel. The day has finally arrived. Patience is not one of my qualities but I have been patient, more than you can imagine. The anticipation overwhelms me. I have waited for years and to think that I am only moments away... The room is at the end of the long silent corridor, with every passing second I feel closer, closer to your destiny and my destiny. But I don't want to get close. I want to run but there is no possibility. I want you desperately but not like this. I am petrified as the double doors loom before me. Tears stream down my face glistening in the dim light. I dry them. I have to be strong. You are the answer that will make everything perfect. There was a way out. I didn't follow it. I thought they were wrong, I thought it wasn't true. I hoped they were wrong, I hope it's not true. But I still don't know. The double doors tower above me, as I approach, they softly call my name, embracing me in silence. Entering the room I feel a cold shiver down my spine and goosebumps on my arm, I can't help but imagine death calling me, hungry for my soul. The room is large and immaculate. People surround me but I still feel isolated. I'm isolated. I don't have anyone. Still. I can think of the procedures I will undergo but I cannot understand the words spoken. Trembling, I open my mouth to speak but no sound comes out. A piece of cloth covers my vision and I feel an uncomfortable sensation on my abdomen. The minutes pass and only the ticking of metal equipment fills the silence and a few strange steps. A knife pierces my skin causing pain that goes beyond b...... middle of paper ......h while I try to console you. A velvet blanket masked the truth. I tell you that at any moment the pain will end and that if you let me hold you in my arms everything will disappear. I wake up every day hoping for a miracle. My eyes are never dry, my heart is numb and has no feelings. I need you to save me from the dark place I have fallen into. The smell of toast wafts through the slightly ajar door, making me feel nauseous. The empty feeling I had before meeting you has disappeared, you have satisfied my hunger. The desire and fixation I felt for Jamie vanished the moment I saw you and the reality hit me hard. I can only apologize for my vindictive, envy-filled actions that have caused you, Jamie and Stacey so much pain, but I know words will never be enough. The only way to prove that I am truly remorseful would be to turn back time, but that can never happen.