I often find myself in leadership positions completely unexpectedly. There I was, minding my own business, happily doing my job, and helping others. Then at some point I get a call to come to the director's office. I often take those trips fearing I've done something wrong. As I sit down, the manager will smile and tell me the wonderful news. I was chosen to lead. The problem is, I suffer from a bad case of “lack of self-confidence.” Yes, I know it's not a real disease, but the lack of self-confidence is what ails me. The first time I experienced this problem was when I was 12 years old. Sure, it was on a religious level, but it was still a leadership position. I was called president of our class, there were eight girls in total. I remember being asked if I would take the job and all I felt like I wanted to do was run and hide. Me? A president? I couldn't understand why they thought I could do this. Surely they were wrong! I accepted the position and then spent the next 4 months trying to fulfill my duties, all the while feeling like I was in over my head. Whenever they asked me my opinion or asked for a decision, I answered in the form of a question. I never felt comfortable being the leader and was thankful and grateful to be released a few months later. I always thought someone else was better suited for the job. The second time I encountered the same problem was when I was working for a company as a customer service representative. The project was new for our structure and for this reason many positions had yet to be created. Once again I was happily doing my job, assisting others in theirs, when I got the call. The director... halfway through the paper... was relieved when it was finally time to move on to the next meeting. The sad thing is that this only happened two weeks ago. Fortunately, after returning home and having time to think, I realized that this appears to be a pattern. One that, after looking back, I realized that I belong in these leadership roles and that perhaps the reason I continue to hold them is to teach me to trust and use my abilities. Surely someone sees those qualities in me, why not me? I decided I had to change the situation, I don't want to look back and regret the choices I made. So, as I sit here writing this essay about my lack of self-confidence, thinking back to those moments and how I felt, I feel the same way. Oh, that's a tall order to undertake. How can you reverse the effects of a lack of self-confidence? I guess I'll never know unless I try to see what others do in me.